Emily’s Smiles through Difficult Trials

Our computer, after a month or so seems to be working and we have everything back on line now. I have not been online for a while, working more days these past 2 weeks. I don’t even know where to start. It seems so…. empty or just that when typing on the computer brings back all the memories, everyone hoping and praying for that miracle that would be given to Emily. I am so happy to see the messages, I will be sending some emails soon.

The last 3 months especially, I seem to have had to keep myself more busy, and trying to get through the weeks. My mind is constantly on Emily, day and night. I think at first ( couple of months ) you know she doesn’t have to endure all that was going on in her life, She is pain free, and no more cancer. You are so focused on her needs, and what she was going through at that time. As the months past you think about , the days and weeks, and what she was doing on this day , last year, at this time. I go back to my date books and see all those appts. etc. You reflect more and realize, how did she do all that??? During the moment you do whatever it takes at that time. It’s later you actually see the impact. Eddie and I were talking about different times the other night, and we had both been thinking the same thing. How do we just go back to everyday living, when all we can think about is what she went through, there has to be more to this. There was a purpose for what she had to endure, and we feel we need to be doing something else, just do not know what yet. Nothing has just come to us yet. There has to be a bigger purpose, we know life must go on, and how Emily has touched many people, we are very blessed, but as parents, is there more to Emily’s short life on Earth?

On a different note, we had a good Thanksgiving, missing Emily though at “Uncle Randy and Aunt Dawn’s house”. Last year at Thanksgiving she was there, collecting leaves for her leaf book. I still feel she is all around. Of course I still have my signs from Emily each month. Can’t remember right now, what month my last note was from, with all the computer problems, I have had, but November’s was a little unusal. May sound odd, but this is what happened. I woke up one night, thinking about Emily’s cross at her grave site. ( Trey calls the cross Emily’s night light ) I knew I needed to check on Emily one night to make sure it still is glowing. Its solar, but has to have batteries too. It has been by her side for several months ( 6 ) I went to work the next two days and got home around 7:45pm and did not get the chance to visit, at night. Then, Thursday when I was off, I called Eddie at work and said “will you bring home AAA batteries”, none out of the many batteries in my container were AAA. Well, he forgot, and when I got home Friday after work, there were 2 batteries on Emily’s floor, placed perfectly side by side! First I thought , ‘what was Trey doing in her room’, it looks just the same, he doesn’t ever play in her room, he may go in and look around and look at her pictures. I didn’t even pick the batteries up. Trey came home from school, as we went by his room, we passed Emily’s, and I saw the batteries again, and asked Trey did he drop some batteries, he said no. I showed him the ones on Emily’s floor and asked him did he know they were there. He said he has not touched any batteries. Eddie came home from work and he said he didn’t know they were there. I reached down and picked them up and they both were AAA ! Well, that afternoon, we went to Max’s pizza, coming home it was dark, we stopped at the church to visit Emily, and her cross was barely glowing. My sign for Nov.18th , Mommy, my cross light is about out!!

Trey is doing well in school, trying hard these past 9 weeks and made the A/B honor roll. He is in 4th grade. One of those days, A call came in from the school, I thought Trey must be sick, when I answered, it was North Topsail school principle, of course first thought going through my mind. Oh no, what has he done,OR what has he taken to school. “Mrs. Hollis, I am calling to tell you Trey has been chosen Dolphin Star Student Today, and I am about to interview Trey. Just wanted to let you know how proud the teachers and myself are of Trey.” I was speechless for a few seconds, I think the first thing I said was Trey, Trey Hollis? “Yes, he is sitting beside me, would you like to talk to him.” So of course, I was so glad, it was a day that I was off, and at home, and of course, I had to go right to school, and congratulate him, and he gave me a BIG hug!!!

I know everyone is excited about Christmas, we are as well. Emily’s place on the sofa is still the same as when she left us, blankets, pillow, Christmas card from last year of g-man the horse from Camp Debbie Lou, stuffed animals. Just added a few Christmas extras. I guess this will be her place for a long time! Trey, Eddie, and I talk about Jesus’ Birthday, and what a BIG TIME Emily is having preparing for Christmas! We know she is coloring something big. When we traveled back from Durham last weekend, the sky was so beautiful, we knew it must be Emily’s turn to paint the sky! Emily and I use to talk about the sky on our many trips back and forth. The many colors and she would say what colors she would use. Then the biggest full moon appeared, she use to say “Mommy how does the moon follow us all the way home”?

We drove up Friday night, to visit Mr. Tom, and saw Ms. Betty as well, at our Home away from Home. It was getting late so we didn’t see everyone, Our apt. has not been rented, and of course it brought back many feelings. We had a good visit with Mr. Tom. Now he has his very own statue of a little girl and big brother sitting on a bench eating ice cream. ( Emily and Trey) Mr. Tom always brought ice cream down to our apartment for Emily and the family. I had been looking something for him for a while, and I found the perfect gift. Mr. Tom is 88 his wife died in 1997, they never had children. He calls Emily his Guardian Angel. We drove to Kenly from there to have family Christmas at my Aunts and Uncles home on Saturday.

I feel I have met some milestones on some days, then on others, feel like I am back at day one. I know there will always be that BIG hole in my heart, but you have to keep going, and try to be positive. What gets me through, is that One Day, by Gods Grace it will be whole again!!!!!! We did have some Christmas pictures taken, did not know if we would do them this year, tried to include whole family, just wasn’t the same without Em. They are going to be a little late…. Going to sign off now, my eyes will be so puffy tomorrow at work, they will probably send me back home. Will try to write again soon, if my computer stays up and running. Hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas Holidays.

Love, Eddie, Dawn and Trey

Dawn sent an update last night, Sunday. Sorry it took a while to get published! Stephanie

I have been looking at the pictures for over a hour now and didn’t realize how late it was getting. I am so glad Jamie was able to retreive the information and pics. A big THANK YOU to JAMIE HOLLIS for all his time and work in bringing back the site again and keeping us connected. I know it takes alot of extra time in retreiving all the information and pictures.

July and August went by fast, we have had a good summer, difficult without Emily, but Trey has kept us busy. We have spent time at Myrtle Beach earlier in the summer and two weeks ago had a great trip to Busch Gardens in VA. Our first visit to Busch Gardens and Myrtle Waves at Myrtle Beach. This has been a special time for Trey, I think we have caught up what we missed the past two summers!! It’s just so hard not having Emily here with us.

Trey has kept busy with some extra school lessons with Ms. Holiday and Mrs. Schwartz in the mornings and football practice for the last 3 weeks, Monday - Friday in the evenings. I am keeping busy at the dentist office and Eddie at Lowes. Hope everyone has enjoyed their summer too!

This week has been tough , Emily could not wait for the month of August. She so loved to plan her birthday party. She would start in June getting ready, and talking about ideas, and visiting Party City for ideas. ” Mommy, you know I have to have alot of balloons, don’t forget the balloons” , she didn’t care about the cake or icecream as long as she had her plates and napkins picked out, and the color of her balloons. Yesterday, she had friends and family throughout the day visiting her grave and singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY. She had a cake, balloons, flowers, happy birthday flag and seashells placed around her. Trey thought the cake was real as we were driving up, he said “we forgot the plates”. Trey painted her a special angel. What a beautiful day. Of course my sign for this month, BUTTERFLIES were EVERYWHERE I went yesterday. At our home in the morning, when Trey had football weigh-in at the park in Wilmington, at my mom’s house, then back at home again and our visit with Emily at the church cemetery. All day long either looking through the windows of our home or outside walking, butterflies were all around. My friends have said the same, “Have you noticed all the butterflies?” I have not seen this many since Emily’s homecoming service. We all miss her so much, but this gave us a reminder that all is good, and she is looking down enjoying her day.

Monday we are going to Duke to take the gifts purchased from the memorial fund in memory of Emily. We wanted to do this for her Birthday and we thank everyone who contributed in her memory. Emily’s favorite items and games are being sent. These items will help during the long weeks in the hospital rooms. Well its midnight , I know I have left out a few things, I know Monday is going to be hard, going through those doors without Emily. Our “home away from home”. We had a whole seperate life at Duke for 2 years, just 5 months ago. It has been a big change for us getting back to the other. I will let you know about our visit.

Love, Dawn

Sorry this is so late folks! We’re doing some major work on the website. Be patient. Here is an update from Dawn about July 4. It was posted, then disappeared…..
Stephanie

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Trey enjoyed the camp provided through Hospice. There were ten in this class, and Trey opened up moe this week about Emily, even at home. He actually shared his story to the class first and Friday, the last day, when the parents were there for the last hour, he found it hard to even say anything about the week. I even had a hard time. Still so new for us. I knew he would have a hard time with the adults watching. He had a busy week, camp from 8:15am till 2:30 then Vacation Bible School at night. The VBS class Trey was in had at least 16 boys, if not more, and needless to say the loudest and most entertaining! The 3 girls decided to go to another class. Can’t blame them. All the classes had a wonderful time. Parents watched the kids perform on Friday night.

We had a 4th of July cookout at Stephanie’s office in Surf City on Thursday and watched the fireworks, just like last year. All I could think about was Emily, and what a great week we all had last year with family and friends at the beach house on Topsail. We had a whole week with no pokies and treatments. I can recall every day that week, what great memories. Trey misses her alot. He thinks and talks to her before he goes to sleep. Their rooms are side by side and every night they would talk to each other from their beds, then she would tell him, Trey, go to sleep now.

Monday and today, Trey worked with Grandaddy at the spec house building a fence around the backyard. He made a paycheck, so he can go to Myrtle Beach and play at Myrtle Waves. Tomorrow we are going to my uncle Jacks and Aunt Wanda’s beach house at Topsail , 1st and 2nd cousins will be there so it will be a fun day for Trey. I know Emily will be watching and playing too.

Thank you for the messages.
Love, Dawn