Emily’s Smiles through Difficult Trials

Wanted to write a note about the last couple of weeks without Emily. We miss her so much and carry on like she is with us, especially in the house. Trey says “I bet she will snuggle with me tonight” and blows her kisses before he goes to sleep. It seems he finds comfort in knowing Emily’s spirit is with us, and one day we will all be together again, forever! He also finds comfort in knowing she is with the other children we knew at the hospital, and our family that is in heaven. He loves the cross that glows at night that Chance’s parents gave to us. He said, “Emily has her own night light”. We can see it from the highway at night.

I have finally watched all of the DVD of Emily’s Celebration of Life service. It took awhile to get through it, the pictures just gave us so many memories to cherish. We were so touched by the family and friends who were there to celebrate her life. Cars were even parked on the front lawn of the church! We appreciate so many being with us during this time. We did not have the chance to talk with friends and family after the graveside service, but looking around we saw so many friends and family we had not seen for a long time. We are very thankful for the many who traveled long distances to be with us. Emily used to say “Mommy I want alot of friends to come to my birthday party” so I know she was looking down at all the people that were there and was so happy to know there were so many to celebrate her Homecoming to Heaven. Emily loved balloons so much. She would have to have one if we went to grocery store or to Smithfields BBQ and always had to have some at birthday parties. I know she was all smiles when all those ballons were released to her.

We always go to visit with her at the cemetery and we have not seen a caterpillar or butterfly since the first time we were there visiting. I know that was my sign from God and Emily that all is well. The Words of Comfort and Reflection, Tribute to Emily, Little Angels poem, Gods Garden poem and the Message from our Pastor will be forever in our hearts. We thank everyone for helping us in this most difficult time, and the celebration service was so touching.

Audrea kept be busy the first week, with t-shirts and things getting ready for the Relay Kids Walk. Then the next weekend for the Relay for Life event which kept us busy but sometimes emotional. I tried to keep it together. Eddie went back to work Monday and it has been hard on him as well. It’s hard to be at the house by myself so yesterday I showed up at the dentist office to review the computer software and see what was new, and they put me right to work! It was like I never left, the Drs. and all the girls I work with have been very supportive during these past 20 months. It felt good to get gloved up and scaling those teeth. I plan to go in 2 days next week.

The nights are the hardest for us, thats when Emily was awake more and we would snuggle and read or watch a movie and talk. Trey said he will keep me busy and he is taking good care of Oreo for Emily. He said “Mom I know I will be busy because everytime I catch a fish I have to catch one for Emily and everytime we go to the beach I will have to pick up shells for Emily, I will always have to do things two times”. We still review all the messages from the past and present and we find great strength in those messages. Emily will always be in spirit encouraging us to do great things.
Love, Eddie, Dawn, and Trey

Old habits are hard to break and yes, I too have been on Emily’s site often. There are so many things I’d personally like to say to each of you that have been so diligent in reading this journal and sending so many kind words to Emily’s parents. I seem to find myself wondering when & what to write to all of you. Emily lives on in our hearts and minds and each day that passes we see constant reminders of her sweet life. From the caterpillar to the butterfly, to the gentle breeze blowing at a certain moment, to the hummingbird flitting around, to 200 children signing up for the Relay Kids Walk……Emily’s presence is felt each and every day. The impact she has had on our community, church, school system, family and friends is nothing short of amazing. God is still working through Emily, only now it is through her spirit. As I told Aunt Linda (Nana) the other day, “Emily may not be here with us physically but she is still working us to death to carry out her mission.” Emily leaves behind a legacy that will go on forever!

I know Dawn shared the news about Emily the “butterfly” at the gravesite following her and Eddie around, but what she didn’t tell you was what happened much earlier at the gravesite as we all gathered under the tent after the Celebration of Life Service. You see, while the family was still in the car, we watched as this caterpillar began to crawl onto the carpet turf under the seats the family was to be seated in. I couldn’t stand it and had to announce “Look! It’s a caterpillar! Surely a sign from Emily!” And of course as Dawn & Eddie approached, yes, I had to tell them too. The caterpillar continued to crawl and apparently settled underneath the chair that Trey was sitting in. Well, during the brief prayer at the grave and then the balloon release by the children, the family and guests all left. We all forgot the little caterpillar……………….

Several hours later Dawn & Eddie returned to view the beautiful flowers before a family dinner in the fellowship hall. Most of the family went on ahead to the building while Dawn, Eddie & I stayed with friends, Audrea & Brad and their children. The kids wanted to see the flowers and help take all the silk arrangements and little silk butterflies and things to the van for Dawn & Eddie to take home. There was a terrible thunderstorm approaching and we didn’t want anything to get ruined. Well, one of the kids picked up an arrangement and yelled “LOOK its the CATERPILLAR!” We were all just stunned. Hours had passed, the grave had been covered, flowers had been moved, the carpet was gone and 2 of the 3 tents had been taken down. How on earth could this caterpillar still be there? But “she” was! Dawn picked it up and it crawled all over her hand ever so gently then Dawn passed it off to Tyler and he lovingly placed it back on the flowers……. the next day the most beautiful monarch butterfly followed Eddie and Dawn around the cemetery. They know that it was Miss Emily dancing and “showing off” how she can now fly.

Another sign that afternoon was the most beautiful rainbow toward the beach. You see, while we were anticipating a terrible storm and did have some wind, lightening and dark clouds, we never had a storm. All around us within 20 minutes or so, there were torrential rains, hail and just terrible storm conditions, but not around our church. Several people saw the most beautiful rainbow in the sky toward the beach and Jacksonville. I’m sorry I missed that but know in my heart that it was another sign from God that all is well and brighter days are coming for Emily’s parents and Trey and yes for all of the family. We are all healing from the loss of Emily but yet we really are rejoicing that she is free of pain and is running and playing in heaven.

Now one more thing I must tell you. Remember the children participating in the Relay for Life Kids Walk? Well, Emily painted a picture that was used on the front of the T-shirts. It was one of the last paintings she did and it was chosen for the shirts. Guess what it was a picture of????? Yes, a CATERPILLAR! Now, do you believe God gives us signs? I sure do! I just wish I realized them when they were in front of me instead of afterward. I (We) just need to open our hearts and be aware of them, accept them, and live our life in a manner according to His will. How can we not when we see all the wonderful things He has done through our Emily? He has surely used her life to inspire each of us to live and act better and to hold fast to His word.

Thank you again to everyone for all you’ve done to make the last 20 months bearable for Emily’s family. To thank each one of you personally is impossible but you must know that your kind words and deeds have gone straight to the hearts of the entire family. There will be other updates to come, so please continue to visit the website. Now, I leave you with the quote that was on our church sign about Emily. “Emily is not gone, she has just gone ahead.” She is surely helping to prepare a place for each of us and we find comfort in the fact that we will see her again one day.

Much Love,
Stephanie